Chapter Six: Integrate Aspects
What If You Are More Than The Version Of You That Got It Wrong?
Chapter Six: Integrate Aspects
What If You Are More Than The Version Of You That Got It Wrong?
Who were you twenty years ago?
Ten years ago?
Last year?
Actually...
who were you this morning?
Because I've been thinking a lot about this during Chapter Six of the Energy Wisdom Pathway.
We tend to talk about ourselves as though we are one consistent person.
This is who I am.
But I'm not sure that's how we experience ourselves at all.
The person who wakes up feeling tired can be quite different from the person who receives some wonderful news an hour later.
We can be confident in one situation and anxious in another.
Patient one moment and irritated the next.
Generous.
Defensive.
Playful.
Serious.
All in the same day.
Same human being.
Different energy states.
Different aspects.
And once we begin looking at ourselves this way, something rather interesting happens.
Because perhaps the person we were twenty years ago deserves to be looked at through the same lens.
We Judge The Past With Everything We Know Now
I think most of us have past versions of ourselves we'd rather not spend too much time with.
The one who made that decision.
Stayed in that relationship.
Lost her temper.
Didn't speak up.
Tried too hard to fit in.
Got it spectacularly wrong.
We look backwards from where we stand today and wonder:
What on earth was I thinking?
But there's a problem with that question.
The person asking it has everything that happened afterwards.
More experience.
More awareness.
More information.
Perhaps more confidence.
More energy.
The aspect who was actually standing there at the time didn't have any of that yet.
One of the things we explored in Chapter Six was the idea that different aspects of us have access to different information depending on their energy state.
That doesn't mean everything a past aspect did was okay.
It doesn't mean we need to rewrite history and decide every decision was secretly wonderful.
It simply gives us another possibility.
We cannot change who we were then.
But we can change our relationship with who we were then.
And I think there's something rather freeing in that.
Perhaps She Needed Energy
One of the teachings we explored in this chapter is beautifully simple:
All aspects need energy.
That includes the versions of ourselves we like.
And the ones we don't.
The loving aspect.
The confident aspect.
The grumpy aspect.
The angry aspect.
The frightened aspect.
The awkward aspect.
The one who behaved in a way we would never behave now.
We're very quick to divide ourselves into good versions and bad versions.
But what happens if we look through the lens of energy instead?
Perhaps the aspect who behaved badly wasn't an inherently bad version of us.
Perhaps she was an aspect operating with less energy, less information and less choice.
Perhaps the aspect we've judged most harshly...
was the one who needed energy most.
That changes the conversation.
Instead of:
What was wrong with me?
we can become curious about:
What was happening in my energy system?
And curiosity gives us somewhere new to go.
The Person Is Bigger Than The Behaviour
This became even more interesting when we began working with other people.
Because we do the same thing to them.
Someone repeatedly behaves in a way we find difficult and gradually that behaviour becomes our description of the person.
She's controlling.
He's angry.
She's selfish.
He's impossible.
But is that really the whole person?
Or is it an aspect of them?
That distinction might sound small.
Energetically, it can be enormous.
I can love someone and still struggle with an aspect of them.
I can understand an aspect without agreeing with their behaviour.
I can decide I need a boundary without turning that behaviour into the whole truth about who they are.
The person is bigger than the behaviour.
And once we make that distinction, there is room for something other than judgement.
There is room for curiosity.
Understanding Doesn't Mean Condoning
This became an important conversation in both groups.
Because sometimes we resist understanding someone.
There's almost a fear that if we understand why they behaved as they did, we're somehow saying:
That's okay.
We're not.
Understanding doesn't mean condoning.
You can understand someone's anger and still decide you will not be shouted at.
You can understand someone's fear and still refuse to let it control your choices.
You can understand why someone behaves in a particular way and still have a very clear boundary around that behaviour.
In fact, better energetic flow may give us more information about the boundary we need, not less.
We're not trying to change the other person.
We're working with what happens in our own energy system when that aspect of them appears.
Which led to one of my favourite lines from the whole chapter:
We don't need to meet somebody else's -5 aspect with our -5 aspect.
Because we've all done that too!
Someone snaps at us.
And suddenly an aspect of us arrives who is very capable of snapping straight back.
Now there are two -5 aspects having a conversation.
And we can probably guess how well that's going to go.
What if their energy state didn't have to choose ours?
That feels like a much more interesting question.
The Wisdom Is In The Flow
Something kept happening during the exercises.
People would begin with a very fixed view of an aspect.
Their own or somebody else's.
Then they would work with the energy.
Soften.
Flow.
And afterwards...
they knew something they hadn't known before.
Sometimes they understood the other person differently.
Sometimes they saw their own part in a familiar interaction.
Sometimes they discovered compassion for a younger self.
Sometimes they simply felt freer.
This has given me another phrase I think I'm going to keep:
The wisdom is in the flow.
We're so used to believing we need to understand something before we can change it.
Why do I do this?
Why is she like that?
Why did that happen?
And sometimes all that thinking simply creates more thinking.
Energy offers another route.
Notice what is happening.
Create some flow.
Then see what you know.
Perhaps the sequence is:
Judgement → Curiosity → Flow → Information → Understanding → Choice.
Not:
Understand everything first and then perhaps you'll be able to change.
That's quite a different way of approaching things.
Nature doesn't ask every part of itself to be the same before it can belong.
Some Past Aspects Don't Need Healing
One of the most moving parts of Chapter Six came when we turned towards aspects we were proud of.
Because isn't it interesting how readily we revisit the versions of ourselves who got things wrong...
and how rarely we go back for the ones who did something extraordinary?
The aspect who was brave.
Who kept going.
Who made the difficult decision.
Who started again.
Who achieved something nobody really acknowledged.
One participant looked back at herself at seventeen, when she became a mother.
And as we began to recognise what that young woman had actually done, something beautiful happened.
She began to see her differently.
Not simply as the young person she had once been.
But as someone deserving recognition.
Praise.
Energy.
You did well.
And this unexpectedly connected Chapter Six back to something we'd explored in Chapter Five.
Missing Events.
What If You Can Become The Person Who Was Missing?
In Chapter Five, we explored the idea that sometimes what continues to echo isn't something that happened.
It's something that didn't.
The encouragement that never came.
The reassurance.
The celebration.
The recognition.
The words we needed somebody to say.
And suddenly, in Chapter Six, another possibility appeared.
What if the present version of us can offer something to the past aspect who didn't receive it?
We cannot change the original event.
We cannot make somebody appear in the past who wasn't there.
But perhaps we can become the person who sees that younger aspect now.
Who recognises what she did.
Who offers the encouragement.
Who says:
I'm proud of you.
And I found myself thinking...
Sometimes the person who was missing from a past event might be the future you who hadn't arrived yet.
I love that.
Because it changes our relationship with time.
The woman sitting here today can meet the girl she once was with energy and wisdom that simply didn't exist for her then.
And What About The Person You're Becoming?
Then we turned the whole idea around.
If I can send energy towards a past aspect...
what about a future one?
Somewhere ahead is an aspect of me who will walk into the room.
Have the conversation.
Take the risk.
Make the decision.
Do something she hasn't done before.
What might she need from me today?
Confidence?
Encouragement?
Preparation?
Love?
Energy?
And something rather wonderful happened here too.
Participants discovered that when they offered energy to a future aspect...
they could feel it now.
Which brought us to another of the discoveries I'm carrying forward from this chapter:
All of your aspects live now.
The past aspect creates an energetic response in us now.
The future aspect can be supported now.
And the present aspect is the one who can create a different relationship with both.
Halfway
Chapter Six also means something else.
We are halfway through the Energy Wisdom Pathway.
Six chapters.
Six more to come.
And when I look backwards, I can see a journey emerging that I couldn't fully see when we began.
Chapter One invited us to notice.
Chapter Two taught us to allow.
Chapter Three helped us see differently.
Chapter Four opened our capacity to receive.
Chapter Five showed us that we can create.
And Chapter Six has brought us to:
understand.
Not understanding through endless analysis.
Understanding through energy.
Understanding ourselves.
Understanding the people we've been.
Understanding that somebody else's difficult behaviour may be an aspect rather than the whole person.
Understanding without condoning.
Understanding with boundaries.
Understanding that as energy changes, new information becomes available.
We're no longer simply learning how to work with energy.
We're beginning to use energy to understand what it means to be human.
And that feels like quite a milestone.
What I've Learned as a Teacher
Every chapter seems to change my understanding of the chapter itself.
Chapter Four became less about shields and more about receiving.
Chapter Five became less about healing the past and more about creation.
And Chapter Six?
I thought it would be about aspects.
It is.
But I think underneath that, it's really about belonging.
Not belonging to a group.
Belonging to ourselves.
The past aspect we wish had known better.
The frightened one.
The angry one.
The wild one.
The courageous one.
The one who did something extraordinary.
The one we are today.
The one we're still becoming.
Integration doesn't mean making all of those aspects the same.
It doesn't mean pretending every choice was wonderful.
It doesn't remove responsibility.
It means we stop requiring one aspect to become the whole truth about who we are.
Different aspects.
Different energy.
Different information.
One evolving human being.
Perhaps self-love isn't about somehow learning to love one enormous concept called myself.
Perhaps it begins much more simply.
Meet one aspect.
Become curious.
Allow the energy to move.
Discover what becomes available.
Then meet another.
And another.
Until eventually we realise...
none of them needed to be the whole story.
But they all belonged somewhere within it.
Meet who you were.
Discover who you are.
Support who you're becoming.
All of you belongs.
The Twelve Chapters
Awaken
Flow
Transform
Nourish
Heal Events
Integrate Aspects
Harmonise Environment
Evolve Relationships
Reunite with the Body
Create
Align Heart, Mind & Soul
Step into Love & Light
Each chapter builds upon the last, creating a pathway that supports both personal growth and practitioner development.
A Gentle Invitation
If you've enjoyed following the journey of our founding Energy Wisdom Pathway community, you might also like my reflections on Chapter One: Awaken, Chapter Two: Flow, Chapter Three: Transform and Chapter Four, Nourish.
https://www.successwith.kim/awakening-begins-with-awareness/
https://www.successwith.kim/chapter-two-flow-energy-wisdom-pathway/
https://www.successwith.kim/chapter-three-transform-energy-wisdom-pathway/
https://www.successwith.kim/chapter-four-nourish-energy-wisdom-pathway/
https://www.successwith.kim/chapter-five-heal-events-energy-wisdom-pathway/
To read why I created the Energy Wisdom Pathway click here:
https://www.successwith.kim/why-i-created-the-energy-wisdom-pathway/
And if you're curious about joining a future Energy Wisdom Pathway group, you can discover more about the Pathway and upcoming cohorts here.
Kim Bradley
Intuitive Wellness Guide
Founder of the Energy Wisdom Pathway
Tel: 07970 584851